Realisations

I don't remember how old I was.  It must have been sometime while I was in primary school (because I think I thought I was too grown up to be put to bed way before I reached secondary school, aged 11) and it is likely to have been pretty early on, given the Bible passage in question is in Exodus.  So perhaps we are talking about 8 or 9 years old.

Anyway, my Dad and I used to read a chapter of the Bible every night before I went to sleep (and a chapter of what ever my storybook was at the time, but that's not really on topic).  We started at the beginning and before we gave it up I'm pretty sure we made it to Psalms or Proverbs or something.  At the relevant time we read Exodus, specifically the part with the plagues, in particular chapters 11 and 12 with the plague of death on all the firstborn.

And that's when I realised.  I was the eldest of my parents' 3 children.  Which meant I was their firstborn.  If God had decided to 'go through the land of South-East England' without warning, I would be the one to expire.  I really identified with the victims of this plague, who by virtue of being big brothers and big sisters met their doom.

And that's when I realised or, more likely given my age, was told - I would have been safe.  I wasn't a son, so I didn't count.  I remember feeling a peculiar mixture of relief, survivor's guilt and anger at being discounted by my gender.

I think that has remained with me.  I think that there's still an undercurrent within churches that discounts women purely because of their gender.  So many times I have seen women with incredible gifts and skills being shunted into children's work or other 'soft' ministries, regardless of their suitability for them.  So many times I have heard women report that opportunities to serve and lead only really opened up to them in church once they were married.  So many times I have heard a woman being introduced when preaching (thank God that they were allowed to preach) with a note of whose wife they were.  So many times I have heard casual and unthinking sexism from the front of church.  So many times my concerns about that have been dismissed.

So I'm trying to get past that.  I know that I am a tall, strong, independent woman.  I know God made me that way and I'm trying to believe that his church can figure out what to do with me.  I'm trying not to be defensive, or jump to concluding that everything is a slight.  Perhaps I'll get there.

Lent 2014 - Day 10

Friday!  It's been a busy week of extra-curricular activities and a new job, so I'm a bit frazzled and looking forward to a day off on Monday.

Flat discipline

Chicken and root vegetable curry last night.  Very tasty, used up a fair amount of vegbox veggies and there are enough leftovers for Sunday tea once we get back from this weekend's jaunt.

Lone discipline

Different work bathroom for variety.  Also !Spiderhands.

Wearing

Green corduroy trousers (item 17):  A truly wonderful pair of cords.  Nice and long in the rise, just the right length to wear with slight heels (36", in case you were wondering, from Long Tall Sally) and soft and comfortable.  They are that fairly recent slim bootcut and I generally like a bit more flare, but there's no denying they work nicely with today's boots.  These are my go-to trousers for casual but not mucky days.
Orange vest (item 18):  A basic vest that's on the big side of just right.  That's all I can really say about it.  I rediscovered it in my wardrobe last night and thought it was a good springtime option for today's outfit, where otherwise I would have worn white and been very nearly monochrome.  It's not as strong an orange as I usually gravitate towards, but I'm prepared to take on most shades of orange.
Checked longsleeve shirt (item 19):  Another item from that tall-specialist clothing company, bought at the same time as the cords and often paired with them.  Being brushed cotton it is nice and warm as a cold-weather under layer but also serves well as a warm-weather outer layer.

Footwear:  It's those boots again.  Still not polished though.
Accessories:  Ampersand necklace - I do like an ampersand.
I can't remember if I was wearing earrings.  Probably not.

This outfit was on the cusp of being too warm for a lovely sunny day, especially as I was cycling about rather than walking.  The uphill on the way to work was a bit of a struggle and it took me a while to cool down once I arrived, but the remainder of my journeys I took nice and slowly and they were not unpleasant.  I do need to get on my bicycle more, but I am wary of becoming a fair-weather cyclist.  Being a car part-owner has made me much more likely to cram activities into days rather than take the time to get to them on two wheels.  And I walk to work, because it takes about the same length of time, once you factor in the bicycle faffing at either end.  If I lived further I would cycle more often.

Lent 2014 - Days 6 & 7

Started a new job yesterday, so I cheated a bit by (mostly) repeating my outfit for today.

Flat discipline

We had folks round for tea before a committee meeting yesterday and ate baked potatoes with various toppings.  I had tuna, so there goes my fish for this week (exercising an interesting definition of week to my own sneaky ends, but was healthier than the alternative cheese/baked beans options).  we served this up with the remaining diced vegetables roasted up for the occasion, so it was a win on the vegbox front to the tune of 5 potatoes (including the one I wound up with for lunch today) and several other vegetables.  There's a little bit of time this evening, so perhaps dicing and parboiling further veggies is in order.

Lone discipline

Complete with concentrating face and last weekend's festival wristband.

Wearing

Smocked jersey dress (item 12):  Soft and comfortable with an empire-line cut that I find really flattering (comes of being short-waisted and long in the rise).  This dress totally points out one of my proportional quirks though - it's two sizes smaller than I usually wear from this retailer, because I have a relatively narrow ribcage, especially when you consider the width of my shoulders and my hips.
Striped jersey blazer (item 3):  Yet more gentle jersey comfort.  And another under-a-tenner bargain.  From a cheap retailer so the shoulder pads (which I could probably take out due to the afore-mentioned broad shoulders) and facings require a bit of care to lay properly.  In the photograph above I've cuffed the sleeves as the manufacturer intended and that exposes a bit more wrist than I like all day.  These sleeves usually end up folded down and nearly long-enough or cuffed and then pushed up nearer my elbows so I look like I meant to show off my wrists/forearms rather than having great long gorilla arms.  The tricks height encourages us to...

Footwear:  Red heeled Mary Janes - another pair of shoes in need of a polish, I'm afraid.  I've written about my love of red shoes already and they really are a very close match for the colour of this dress
Accessories:  Giant pearls - yet another bargain.  Added to an online order to make it cross the free delivery threshold.  Really handy when I need a neutral statement piece, but strangely, they prevent airflow round my neck so I can't wear them to dance in for any length of time.
Celtic cross with garnet - the necklace I wore yesterday, a bit less flashy than today's and given to me by my paternal grandparents when I was baptised (aged 13 or so).  A surprisingly perfect choice when I consider that my grandmother usually had tastes so different from mine at that age.
Hosiery:  Sainsbury's Medium Support tights.  I love these tights.  They're comfortable, tend to hold up to repeated washings and wearings and really do give me a nice silhouette.  Yesterday's tights were more opaque and grayer.  Today's are better, but I was really after the slightly pale fleshtone that the Sainsbury's tights come in.  It feels like spring is arriving and it's time to return to lighter tights.  But I put my thumb through a pair yesterday, so I'm stuck until I shop.

This is all about the holy grail of being comfortable while looking put-together.  In those stakes dresses are absolutely the way forward.  I'm also nearly halfway through my allotted number of clothing items for the season, so more care may be required with my picks for the next week or so, I need to ensure I have suitable items for a couple of dances at the end of this week as well as enough dancing clothes and things to get me through my work-weeks.

Lent 2014 - Day 2

Flat discipline

So, day 1's tea was leftover veggie risotto with roasted beetroot (the only vegbox item, unfortunately) and it was very tasty.  Tonight the plan is to eat proscuttio tortelloni with vegbox veg and red pesto.  New veggies arrived last night, including a HUGE turnip.  We might be blessing a neep-loving friend with that one this week!

 

Lone discipline



Oh yes, by Easter I shall be a master of the work-bathroom-mirror selfie.

Wearing:

Lambswool jumper (item 1):  I can't remember whether this was a charity shop or clothing swap find, but either way it's a cool-weather staple.  The fit is good, the length is good, I like the interaction between the neckline and my collarbones.  Only slight downside is that the sleeves don't quite come to my wrists, but that's what I get for being broad-shouldered and long-armed.  It doesn't bother me in this jumper because the sleeves are fairly close-fitting.
Plum skirt (item 2):  This is fairly new but it went straight into rotation for work because POCKETS!  Also it's drapey and soft and being a midi-length does a nice 'just below the knee' on my great long legs.  It is mostly polyester, has a weird faux-leather waistband and was very cheap (reduced to £5 IIRC) so we shall see how it stands up to regular use.

Footwear:  Brown leather boots.  These cost me £40, which is bonkers for leather, so I suspect they may turn out to be poorly made.  They're very comfortable with enough room in the foot for my sizeable feet and snug in the calf (ah, the calves of a Scottish dancer) due to elastic inserts.  They are, unfortunately, really too short.  Having a 34"-35" inseam I have long legs.  Visually (I've never measured) I think proportionally more of this extra length is in my lower legs.  So my legs are still going out when boot shafts start to come in.  The shafts on these boots measure about 14" and I feel like the proportions would be better on me with a 15" or 16" shaft.  It's still not enough to make me buy custom boots though.
Accessories:  Just a necklace today.  A silver enamel powder compact that I inherited from my great aunt, strung on a leather cord.  As it ties in a bow behind my neck I've been trying and failing all morning to make it sit just below the neckline of the jumper and sure enough, post photo-taking I have finally managed that!

I feel good about this outfit.  I am comfortable and the right temperature for the office.  Nothing needs messing with or tweaking when I stand up.  I will need to change out of at least the jumper in order to go dancing this evening, but that's par for the course.

Tall Cheats

Over at Already Pretty yesterday, Gracey was sharing some of her 'Tall Cheats' and I am pleased to say that I have employed all of these myself, even at 'only' 5'10.5". Back in the day as a growing teenager I used to shop predominantly at Tall-specific shops, because Long ranges were limited (and still, sometimes not long enough) and Tall barely existed. Then I became an impoverished student (or rather, an insanely frugal student) and started to discover charity shops. At first I stuck with mostly bric-a-brac purchases (and the crockery I bought those 12 years ago is only just being gradually retired as it gets replaced) but eventually someone persuaded me to try on some clothes and I've never looked back.

My major discovery was that skirts are a lot more forgiving than trousers if you are not the height that they were designed for. I still find more skirts and dresses than trousers while charity shopping but my style is generally more skirt-based these days so it's not really a problem. Perhaps I will brew up a 'Charity Shopping while Tall' post at some point, some thing could be marinating at the back of my mind.