How to propose

Content warning:  The following post contains sickening romanticalness, read at your peril.

It's a tricky thing, a proposal.  There are expectations.  And if you are a same-sex couple you have to figure out whether, or how, to address those.  Obviously, this isn't a blueprint for how *you* should propose, but more of a memory about how I did so.  Not necessarily in this order, but if I put it all in order we'd probably be at 'Proposing in Eleventy-One simple steps'.

So, yeah, did some proposin' this weekend.

1. Find out who's going to do the proposing

Now if you're traditionally minded and of different genders, this might be obvious.  But it might not.  In our case, my Beloved spent a year or so asking me to marry her every day so that I would know she still loved me and was invested in our relationship.  As such, we determined that if there was ever to be an actual down-on-one-knee-ring-in-hand proposal I would have to do it.

2. Find out what the proposee would like

Over the course of time I picked up a few hints (these were all actual statements made by my beloved in pretty much as many words) that I wanted to work into the proposal itself:

• Notice in writing, in triplicate, delivered at least 6 weeks before the proposal itself.
• Cake (I cannot for the life of me remember when/why this was mentioned, but it was at some point so it went on my mental list).
• Signage - Beloved specified that there had to be a sign so that she would know I was proposing.  Possibly in order to effect her escape.
• Running shoes - she threatened to attempt to run away should she spot the sign, so stipulated that I should have my running shoes on in case I needed to catch her.

And for a bonus point I wanted pink champagne, because someone brought a bottle of the same champagne that I had for my 18th birthday to Beloved's 21st.

3. Deliver Notice of Intention to Propose Marriage

Beloved received this beauty one weekend morning last year:

4. Sort out the bling

I went and got my great aunt's emerald ring restored and sent a very scary email to my now future in-laws asking if there was any suitable family ring for my Beloved.  I got a response saying they couldn't think of anything so started contemplating having something to match my ring commissioned.

Later a family ring did turn up on her side, so we had a few conversations about whether this was the ring she wanted and went about getting it in turn restored.  This took Sandy Menzies a fair while - apparently the setting was porous and thus pesky.

5. Pick a date

I picked a Friday afternoon just before a week when we would see both sets of parents and would be able to tell them in person.

6. Come up with a plan

Plan A was to use my weekly afternoon off to turn our living room into a tent (reflecting our mutual love of camping) using swathes of fabric, a sari and various scarves.  Lay out cushions, blankets and squishy things along with a small table set with cake and fizz.  Then go meet Beloved from work and head for the gym as usual and return home to my beautiful proposal.

7. Have your date scuppered

A few short weeks before my intended date, a couple of our friends got engaged.  I shouldn't have been surprised, being as how there is an established engagement season in the northern hemisphere but I worried about treading on their toes.  I was wavering over whether my planned proposal was too soon.

And then Rowan Tree Tents sent me to set up a tent on the afternoon in question and that was the end of that.

8. Pick a new date

I realised that the 7th anniversary of our first kiss was going to be at a weekend (I warned you about the soppiness, you read on so on your own head be it) and that we could once again stay up all night to watch the sun rise over the North Sea.

9. Allow the proposee to think that your romanical notion is their idea

Imagine my relief when Beloved suggested the very romantical sunrise watching (obviously she didn't include 'and then you can get your sign out and propose') I had been trying to figure out how to suggest.  Beloved had been getting suspicious of any ideas that I had which included walking up hills or going somewhere just the two of us.  Now she was going to be the agent of her own undoing *mwah hah hah haa*.

10. Gather supplies using subterfuge

It's awkward buying champagne when the person you want to suprise with it is in the shop with you.  Fortunately I had an additional ulterior motive (of which, more next week) for sneaking inexplicably round Tesco so she ascribed my weird behaviour to that.  I was, however slightly scuppered yet again by the supermarket I had to visit for other reasons not having the champagne I was planning on, so I had a speedy dither and settled on the pink one wearing a Wimbledon jacket. 

I also had to make a sign.  I made a very dinky little sign.  Fortunately I had another excuse for getting out my wood-burning tool, Beloved never suspected a thing.

The dinkiest proposing sign in all the land.

And I made cake.  It's usually easy to think up an excuse for baking.  So I did.

11. Be thwarted by sleepies

At 2am on the overnight in question, Beloved announced that since it was forecast to rain she was going to sleep rather than go for that romantical walk.  I offered to let her have an hour or so's sleep then take her out to the beach in the car.  She said she would be grumpy if I did.  So I let it go and set a normal-ish alarm.

12. A plateful of breakfast helps the proposing go down

Yes folks, a plateful of croissants is to proposing marriage as a spoonful of sugar is to medicine.  I got up, made the breakfast*, put on my running shoes and knelt at my Beloved's bedside.

11. Say it with cake

I said it with this cake:

'Marry me?' takes up a surprising amount of space on a cake.  I didn't think a practice run was appropriate, somehow. 

Because, really, who can say no to cake?

12. Forget to eat all of your breakfast because of the excitement

The coffee will go cold, the croissants will go chewy, but how often is it appropriate to eat cake and drink champagne before 9am?

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*Of course I wasn't nervous, I knew she would say yes and the plan would be well-received.  So that can't be why I poured the first half-cup of coffee into one of the champagne glasses, can't be that at all.

Lent 2014 - Days 42-46

Last few days of Lent 2014 all summarised in one handy spot.

The end of last week was busy at work, so blogness got neglected.  Sorry about that.  Hopefully this mad spray of posts will do something to make up for it.

Day 42 - This outfit became a bit of a staple over the course of Lent.  It's the classic 2-16-13 combination.  This time with a cheap pair of flat brogues that I picked up last year or the year before.  It is handy to have neutral shoes that just slip on in my life.

Day 43 - It's a classic red dress/red shoes combo and so item 12 gets another outing.  It was even warm enough that an additional layer wasn't required.

Day 44 - Unfortunately I cannot remember what I was wearing on Day 44.  It was definitely composed of items on the list, but what they were I have no idea.

Day 45 - a Friday outfit of linen shirt (25) and red cords (26) with which I attempted a double necklace arrangement.

Day 46 - this was the Great Day of Tidying as outlined in a full blogpost here.  I wore green cords (17) and a checked shirt (19) with the sleeves rolled up.  It seemed like an appropriate day for Spring cleaning during the Harrowing of Hell and I wore an outfit appropriate for a long day of housework.  Then a moosh of broderie anglais and tartan for an evening of dancing.

Lent 2014 - Day 38

Flat discipline

Pub food last night, pizza for a colleague's leaving do tonight, it's not a good week for eating simply and getting through vegbox veggies.

Lone discipline

Fuzzy, but glad it's Friday!

Wearing

Linen skirt (item 25):  It's a workhorse, this skirt.  I'll be cycling around town this afternoon running errands and there's no problem with that while wearing this.
Orange vest (item 18):  It's a basic and a staple but today it makes me feel like I'm joining in with Spring, which may have actually Sprung.
Striped jersey blazer (item 13):  This thing is becoming a total workhorse.  I wonder if there are spring-time variations available in other colours... and if it always does that weird thing up by my right* shoulder.

Footwear - oh the embarrassment of still not having polished these boots.
Accessories - little yellow enamel heart earrings to pick up the orange from the vest and my ampersand pendant for whimsy.  Nice and straightforward.

And I've got bare legs!  As is typical when switching to the occasional bare-legged day I have on trainer socks and ankle boots so my feets stay toasty.  And I'll be throwing some tights or something on before I leap on my bicycle, I don't need the wind whistling around my thighs just yet.

*I had to think about this for quite a long time, before I realised that a photograph of me taken in a mirror will mean that my right hand side is on the right.  I blame too many hours staring in confusion at X-rays during anatomy tutorials.

Lent 2014 - Day 23

Well, this is odd.  I can't seem to start a new paragraph.  Oh well, looks like today will be written all in one big long line.  Maybe I'll be able to edit the paragraphs in later.

Ah ha!  Adding a photograph seems to have fixed it.  I have no explanation.

Khaki skirt (item 29):  This skirt feels like it's been with me forever.  It's fairly casual, with its unfinished hem and jeans styling, but still I find myself sneaking it into work outfits like this one.  It flares more than it looks like too, so there's plenty of movement, which I like.
Peasant T-shirt (item 9):  Another casual item masquerading as work-appropriate.  Works for me.
Pinkstripe Blazer (item 24):  And the final item, which tops the whole thing off and leaves me looking so professional that my boss comments on how smart I'm looking.  I should get a picture of it that doesn't make me dizzy though.

This outfit makes me feel happy.  It feels like spring has sprung and I'm enjoying the fact that it has.  I suspect that this is because the pink and green echoes some of the trees that are coming into blossom.  It's also a nice and practical outfit - I have climbed trees in something similar.

Footwear:  Flat boots again, because they're comfortable and I wasn't sure how chilly it was going to be, walking out of my door this morning.
Accessories:  Garnet necklace - I think this was given to me by a friend for a birthday back in secondary school, or near the beginning of uni or something.  It's very 'me'; I do like garnets.
Pink heart earrings - now THIS is an outfit which these earrings make sense with.  They're almost exactly the same shade as the piping on my jacket.

So I'm comfortable.  And I won't have to get changed before my dance class tonight.  This is good, because Thursdays can be quick turn-arounds.

Lent 2014 - Day 22

Flat discipline

Stir-fry as planned last night, with the left-over sausages from Monday on the side.

Tonight everyone's in different places, so we're fending for ourselves.  I am contemplating a jacket potato with tuna mayonnaise once I get home from a lecture at work this evening.

Lone discipline

Bit of a repeat today, I'm afraid.  Hopefully that won't be the norm now that my list is basically set.

Normal-ish phone-holding achieved!

Wearing

Plum pocket skirt (item 2):  It's still doing fairly well, but some pilling is starting to become evident where my bag hangs against my hip.  And I forgot to put a slip on this morning, so it's sticking to my tights like nobody's business.

Cream jumper (item 1):  After several sunny but chilly days I have learnt my lesson and am feeling really rather cosy today.  But I so want it to be spring and just don't have the right clothes on my list for that.  Well, we shall see.  Perhaps it will be possible to tweak my colours using only accessories.  It's a challenge for the rest of Lent, certainly.

Footwear:  Tan Mary Janes.  I've climbed 8 storeys-worth of stairs in these so far today and no misadventures so far.  I'm not certain that the fit is exactly right but my feet aren't complaining today.

Accessories: purple scarf - this has been borrowed from my girlfriend (her mother gave us one each for christmas but mine is pink and wasn't anywhere to be seen this morning) and is so soft and thin, but large enough (and made from I-know-not-what) that it's cosy too.  In the winter I'm known for wearing scarves draped around like this, but perhaps more so in my student days when I spent many days studying in large draughty spaces.

Purple earrings - stolen from my mother who kept getting them caught in her clothing.  Not really the right kind of purple, but never mind.

Ring stack - cheap as the proverbial chips, this ring stack used to have different surface textures but the shiny ones have dulled and the textured one has buffed so now they all look the same.  And the plating is wearing through so the coppery metal beneath shows through.

Today I'm wearing different glasses.  And I've just noticed that one of the lenses is starting to make a break for freedom.  I prefer my usual pair for comfort but these are a bit more subtle (I think the impression they give in the photograph of slipping off my nose is because my head is tilted down looking at the phone screen to line up the shot).  Perhaps a wee post about my glasses-wearing is in order.  They might even be interesting enough to warrant such a thing!

Lent 2014 - Days 20 & 21

Flat discipline

There were salad leaves in last week's veg delivery.  We have eaten most of them now and they were peppery and delicious.

Last night's tea was yellow-sticker sausages and yet more roasted vegetable cubes.  I could live quite happily on roasted vegetable cubes, apart from the oil levels.

Tonight the plan is a stir-fry.  I may allow yesterday's final two sausages to creep their way into the mix.

Lone discipline

Work is busy, so no photographic proof, but right now it's all about comfort and temperature regulation.  Also, seem to have left phone somewhere.  No idea where.

Day 20

Wearing

Smocked jersey dress (item 12):  Oh yes, all about the comfies.
Striped jersey blazer (item 13):  Still a favourite.  Just has that edge of structure that you need when you basically propose to wear nightwear to work.

Accessories:  knitted rose-patterned tights for the warmies, no jewellery for the easies.
Footwear:  Red Mary Janes.  Smart shoes to make me feel grown up while wearing jammies to work.

Day 21

Wearing

Brown spotty dress (item 14):  Still comfortable, just a little more work.
Aubergine long cardigan (item 28):  Big and warm.  I can't remember how long I have had this beast, but it gets trotted out throughout the cooler seasons, or when I want to feel like I'm wearing a bathrobe but look like I made an effort and picked something dramatic.  The brown/aubergine combination is interesting and rather autumnal, but there you go.

Accessories:  Garnet celtic cross necklace, pink enamel heart studs.  These items do not go together.  I am wearing them regardless.
Footwear:  Knee-ish high brown boots.  'Nuff said.

And I've reached 29 items used.  Only one more to add and I feel like I ought to keep the spot in reserve in case of emergency or laundry failure.  It's an interesting list that I've put together, because I haven't really thought about it as a list, just listed the things I have happened to choose.  One or two items may end up biting me.  It seem sot be a fairly balanced list so far, comprising 5 dresses, 7 bottoms (skirts/trousers), 9 tops and 5 over-layers (7 if you count the 2 tops that do double duty), but I'm not sure how many outfits that means I have to choose from.  I suppose I could wear the owl tunic with the patterned leggings and the red cardigan, but I don't think  I would choose to do so.  There might be some benefit in considering all the possible combinations this list could give me though, I do get so easily bored with a limited clothing repertoire.

Lent 2014 - Day 16

Back to your scheduled viewing...

Lone discipline

I'm getting more practiced at one-handed photo-operation, but the need to hold myself up halfway through the work day is rather worrying!

Wearing

Brown spotty dress (item 14):  It's a great staple, this one.  Still straining a bit at the top but soft and comfortable so I will give it a lot of a chance.
Red Cardigan (Item 4):  The photograph doesn't show it well, but this is a strangely shaped cardigan, being slim through the waist and over the hips but really wide in the shoulders so it sometimes slips off.


Footwear:  It's the slightly-short knee-high boots again.  Worn today because they are waterproof and it was raining when I walked to work.  I had been going to wear red shoes, but opted for protection rather than colour.  I feel I might be the sort of person to get enough wear out of a pair of red knee-high boots, though, so maybe I should keep my eye out.
Accessories:  Pearl and diamond drop necklace - this was given to me by a friend one birthday.  It's small and simple, but it fits nicely with the neckline of this dress and I like the way that the tone of the pearl echoes the soft cream of the polka dots on this dress.
Mother-of-pearl earrings - I bought these with a voucher given to me by a couple of friends for helping out with their wedding.

Interesting thought about the way I remember how I came by items.  This is particularly true of jewellery even though I don't own very many valuable pieces.  I have misplaced items over the years and that makes me sad - there was a lovely silver ring that my sister gave me one Christmas that disappeared a few years later that I remember in particular.  In fact, rings seem to be particularly prone to this, perhaps because I fiddle with them a lot.